Kindness Matters

When parents are asked what they hope their children will be, they often answer with physical attributes. They want their kids to be strong, successful, handsome, athletic, pretty and so forth. But one young mother, when asked "What do you want your son to be when he grows up?" answered slightly differently than expected. She said, "I want him to be kind."

We don't often think too much about kindness. Oh, maybe we see or hear of extreme acts of bravery and comment on them, but kindness doesn't have to shout. It's not always newsworthy. But the best type of kindness if often very quiet, shown in the myriad ways people act every day. That type of kindness makes the world go around.

Children, however, have a very "me-centric" view of the world by nature. It takes a lot of brain development to be able to extend your circle beyond yourself. And as parents and teachers, it's our job to model that behavior and help kids see that "me first" isn't usually be best way to go.

How? Here are some ideas.

1.     What's mine is yours. Sharing is a simple, yet valuable, skill. But it takes time to learn. Watch a bunch of toddlers, and you'll hear a lot of "don't touch that – that's mine!" The simple act of sharing is a good way to show kindness. For example, maybe you baked cookies on a Sunday afternoon. Set a dozen aside to share with a neighbor or friend. Just don't know what to do with all of those cucumbers from your garden? Maybe someone who doesn't have space for growing would like some. Maybe this year's rose bushes had a lot of blooms. A favorite teacher would probably love some. Teach your kids to think of others when they have extras instead of hoarding and that is an effective way of showing kindness.

2.     Earth day. Every year, a special day is set aside for "Earth Day," when people engage in environment-friendly activities. But every day can be Earth Day. Got empty bottles or cans? Recycle them. Maybe you can build a compost pile for garbage (good for keeping trash out of landfills and for that backyard garden). Buy reusable grocery bags instead of plastic ones. Even simple things such as shutting of a light when you leave a room or turning off the water while you brush your teeth are good for the environment and a great way to show kindness to Mother Nature and our planet mates.

3.     Look for helpful opportunities. Many, if not most, times people don’t come to you with opportunities to help. You have to go to them. Teach your children to look around and see where they can be of help to others. Basic chores, such as setting the table or taking out the trash, can be farmed out to kids to help Mom and Dad run the household. Maybe an older child can entertain a younger one. Ask your teacher if you can help her tidy up the classroom. If you're good at a subject in school, and a friend isn't, offer to help him with his homework. And being helpful doesn't have to be reserved for parents and friends. That elderly person who just got on the bus? Offer her your seat. Hold the door for someone on crutches, or a mom pushing a baby carriage. There are many ways of helping that don't take a lot of strength or effort.

By modeling kind behavior and helping kids look for ways to be kind, we raise a better generation. Don't think that only big acts are valuable or that kindness requires a lot of effort. "Kind words can be short and easy to speak but their echoes are truly endless." (Mother Teresa of Calcutta)

Oakmont Martial Arts is licensed by the American Taekwondo Association, the premier North American organization dedicated to the martial arts discipline of taekwondo. They offer training for young children (Tiny Tigers, 3-5), youth (6-13), teens and adults, as well as adult fitness classes. Visit www.OakmontMartialArts.com or their Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/ataOakmont) for more information, or call 412-826-8004 to schedule an introductory lesson.

A software technical writer by day, Mary Sutton is the mother of two teens and has been making her living with words for over ten years. She is the author of the Hero’s Sword middle-grade fantasy series, writing as M.E. Sutton, and The Laurel Highlands Mysteries police-procedural series, writing as Liz Milliron. Visit her online at www.marysuttonauthor.com.