Thinking about kindness....

On my office door, I have the following quote, "When you have the choice whether to be right or be kind, choose to be kind."--Wayne Dyer

Last Tuesday, one of the young people I work with was standing near my door and noticed the quote. She said, "That's stupid."

I looked up to see to what she was referring. I asked her and she pointed to the quote. I said, "Why do you think that is stupid?"

She said, "I don't care about kindness. I don't know nobody who does. But I know when I'm right."

Then I said, "Let me ask you something. Who do you live your life for?"

She replied, "My son. That's all I care about."

I said, "Don't you think people should be kind to your son?"

She gave me the kind of blank stare that told me more than her words ever could. She truly did not understand what I meant. She did not know kindness.

At that moment, my heart broke for her.

Now, I don't mean no one has ever shown her kindness. No, I know people have because I have. I have done many kind things for her in the 8 months I have known her. However, she has no recognition of the value of kindness.

She has been raising herself for a long time. She has been homeless. She has survived being a teen mom (and is still surviving it) and has faced some extremely challenging situations. Our program is allowing her to complete her GED, get some snacks and have a safe place to spend her weekdays. But to her, that's because we are supposed to.

She does not understand kindness.

It really got me thinking. I understand kindness. I have watched my family be kind since I can remember. We always had 'strays' living with us. In spite of already having 6 children and another on the way, my parents did not hesitate to take in an 8th child who happened to be 13 and in desperate need of a home.  They just did it.

I remember when I was about 7 or 8, there was a teenager who lived with us because he was no longer welcome in his own home. I don't remember much about him, except that he was welcome in our home.

Each year, as each of my siblings went to college and come home for breaks, they (and I) often bought home friends who had no place else to go. My mom always welcomed them without question.

It was understood that my friends were welcome in my home whether I was there or not. One of my friends worked for my parents all through high school even though I didn't.

I learned very early on, from my parents, that being kind was something you do. There is no because to it. There is no reason or reward. Kindness is what you do.

Don't have change for the bus? Hold on, I might have it. Need some place to park your car?  Our driveway is long! Not sure what your parents will say about your most recent college report card? Come on over to our house and talk it though with my parents. They will help you to figure out what to say.

We are all put on this earth for a reason. I have come to believe that my reason for being here is kindness. I am here to lighten the load of others. If I get through the day and have managed to make someone's day a bit easier, a bit brighter or a little less stressful, then I have done well.

So, I stand by the quote on my door. Given the choice between being right or being kind, I will always choose kind. And with the job that I do, I will do my best to teach those young people the value of kindness.

Thoughts?