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Health & Fitness

This Too Shall Pass: A Cancer Journey

On June 1-2 Riverside Park in Oakmont will be the site of the 13th annual Riverview Relay for Life to raise money for the American Cancer Society. Hundreds of people of all ages will join together over a 24 hour period to walk in honor of and in memory of loved ones who have battled cancer. They will enjoy music, food, games, inspirational speakers and ceremonies as they celebrate cancer survivors and remember those lost to the disease. Most everyone that gets involved in Relay does so because of someone that they know who has been affected by cancer – a family member, friend, neighbor, co-worker or even themselves. Their stories are as varied as they are, some have taken place over years and are filled with ups and downs, and others have just begun. But all of them are similar in that they are tales of courage, determination and hope. My personal involvement began at the first Riverview Relay for Life in 2001. At the time I had several reasons to join the fight against cancer. My mom had lost two cousins around her age to the disease and I had a close friend who, a few years earlier, had lost her seven year old daughter after a fierce eight month battle with brain cancer. I will never forget the feeling of helplessness as I watched this child and her parents suffer through those eight months and, although I will never make sense of what happened, I can fight in her memory in the hopes that other parents and children won’t suffer the same way. Since that first relay twelve years ago my reasons to fight have multiplied. I have lost both of my godparents, my father-in-law and a sister-in-law to the disease. My friend who lost her daughter to brain cancer was diagnosed with cancer as well. I have met dozens of Relay for Life participants who have become my friends and I have watched them bravely fight their battles. But the person who I have carried most closely in my heart each year when I walk the track at Riverside Park is my mom, Anna Mae Waddell. In May of 2002, my mom was diagnosed with fallopian tube cancer. I’ll never forget the day she first told me about her symptoms, what the doctor had said and that she was going to have surgery. She never said the word “cancer” and although I was thinking it, I never said it either. Maybe we both felt that if we didn’t say it out loud it wouldn’t be true. But it was cancer and after fully recovering from her surgery, Mom began a year of chemotherapy. She experienced some side effects but nothing too debilitating, and she lost her hair. That was the toughest part for her but she soon got used to her wig and her “new look” and after that year of treatment began to get back to all of her usual routines. In 2003, Mom attended the Riverview Relay as a cancer survivor. She proudly wore her purple relay shirt and walked alongside the other cancer survivors during the opening lap. She attended the beautiful survivors’ reception and luminary ceremony in the evening and enjoyed herself tremendously. She helped at our team’s booth and enjoyed walking around the track looking at all of the others. Being at the event buoyed her spirits, and her ever present smile cheered everyone around her. Mom continued to participate in Relay each year and remained cancer free for nine years, but in the summer of 2011 cancer came calling once again. This time it hit her harder but she didn’t shy away from the fight. She underwent several different treatment protocols to try to keep the cancer under control, knowing that there was no cure and that she was only buying time. For the next eighteen months Mom and I spent countless hours together at chemo treatments, doctor’s visits and CT scans. Sometimes we talked about “what would happen if”, but mostly we just chatted and enjoyed each other’s company. I treasured each moment and am grateful that I could be there for her during those times because sadly, on February 14, 2013 Mom passed away. Her cancer journey was over and my journey through life without my mom had just begun. One of Mom’s favorite sayings was, “this too shall pass” and those words became like a mantra to her during her battles with cancer. They spoke to her constant positive outlook and her belief that better days were always ahead. I think of those words often now as I go through each day with overwhelming feelings of sadness and loss. My mind knows that things will gradually get better; my heart is not always so sure. But what my heart does know is the incredible love that Mom had for her family, friends and community and her generous and kind treatment of everyone around her. She always looked for ways that she could help others and one of those ways that she found was through the Relay for Life. She was well aware that others were suffering with this disease, others had lost loved ones, and others had had a more difficult journey than she. She believed that what we were doing was critical and the money that was raised would help continue to fund cancer research and the many cancer prevention services and support programs that the American Cancer Society provides free to others. I know it will be difficult for me to step on the field at Riverside Park on June 1. I won’t be able to look up and see Mom in her purple shirt smiling her warm and familiar smile. But she will be with me and I will be comforted by the knowledge that I am continuing the fight in her honor and memory. I will be surrounded by so many others who are there for the same reason, others who know that participating in the Relay for Life can help to turn some awful personal experiences into something positive and hopeful, others who know that “this too shall pass.” Barbara Kutilek

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